It started in high school. Taking off our clothes, that is. As soon as we got home. We hadn’t even been dating for that long. A few weeks. A month at most. Yet, there we were. Well, at least one of us was.
Do we have your attention?
Let’s continue then.
It was the middle of a weekday one afternoon. We can’t remember if Jordan’s parents were home. They might’ve been. Maybe not. Anyways, for seniors, like us, school ended around noon and we were home not long after that. Jordan drove in his white Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo, the one he shared with his almost Irish twin younger brother. We say “almost” because they’re actually thirteen months apart. One month shy of the legal definition. And, also, nothing about them looks Irish.
Amy looked up. And couldn’t believe her eyes.
Back to the story.
As we opened the front door, we heard scratching coming from within the house. And whimpering. It was Tito, Jordan’s white and brown-spotted, two-pound chihuahua. Did we mention his name was Tito? Not potty trained, lived in the white-tiled back hallway when no one was home. Did you catch that? No one was home. We let Tito out from behind the toddler gate that separated him… from the carpet. Side note: Parents, are we wrong, or are those things like (legal) cages for kids? And we’re not even judging. We were elementary school teachers once. We. Get. It. While Amy rubbed Tito’s belly and watched him run in circles of excitement. Like dogs do. Our cats don’t. Jordan went into his bedroom, closed the door…
And took off his clothes.
Minutes later, he walked out.
Amy looked up.
And couldn’t believe her eyes.
He was wearing…
Sweats! Sweat pants — and a t-shirt! But it’s the middle of the day… she thought. And he’s wearing pajamas! In her family, that’d never happened before. At least not until the weekends. And only when you’d just woken up or were getting ready for bed. The clothes you wore out and about were the ones you kept on. All. Day. Long. Not at Jordan’s house. His routine, for as long as he could remember, was a simple one: as soon as he got home, he took off his “out of the house” clothes and switched into something much more comfortable. Why wear anything that’s not? he reasoned. When no one can see you.
In Amy’s house, everything was proper. You got dressed for the day, regardless of what was on the calendar. Whether you were going out or staying in. And when you were in, you were still wearing your nice “out of the house” clothes until it was time to change into pajamas for bed.
Ever since Jordan first questioned WHY Amy didn’t just change into sweats once she was in for the day, Amy’s life has never been the same. We’re talking a whole-new-world, ride-a-flying-carpet-and-sing-a-song-that-rhymes kind of game changer at age eighteen. It’s a tradition that’s carried through our entire relationship. Whenever we get home, as long as we’ll be there for more than, say, an hour, we trade fashion for comfort and bask in the goodness that is stretchy waist-bands and over-sized t-shirts.
She’s never looked back, neither will you, and that, friends, is the story of how Jordan convinced Amy to take off her clothes as soon as she gets home.
Want to catch up on The Pink Slip Files? You can read them all right here:
Intro: What Are the Pink Slip Files?
No. 1: Failing Pre-Marital Class & Otter DNA
No. 2: Sink or Swim
No. 3: Turning Off the Lights
No. 4: Leave a Message at the Tone
No. 5: Chocolates, Mystery Shows & Honeymooning
No. 6: Cutting Coupons & Wal-Mart Jeans
No. 7: Paper Chains of Memories
No. 8: Dancing on Bar Tops
No. 9: Man’s Best (Feline) Friend
No. 10: Confessions of a Waffle Fry
No. 11: What’s So Important About Shoelaces?
No. 12: Breaking Records… Like It’s 1924
No. 13: Why We’re Not as Classy as We Thought
No. 14: A Letter to My Only Starbucks Lover
No. 15: The Night We Killed Someone (Kind Of)
No. 16: Lord, It’s a Fire!
No. 17: 6 Words We Thought We’d Never Google
No. 18: Walking in the Door… And Taking Off Our Clothes