We failed our first pre-marital class.
It really depends on who you ask.
But there we were, young pups, just over the legal drinking age, sitting in our church’s pre-marital class with dozens of other couples, awaiting the results of the personality test we’d taken the week before to find out if we were “compatible” or not as a couple.
We were told that the test was used all over the world. We were told that it was very accurate and would reveal a lot about our relationship. We were told that sometimes couples choose to delay or call off their weddings because of what the test unearths. We were told.
We sat together, not worried at all. We were confident, actually. Maybe too confident. We were just sure that the results would demonstrate exactly one thing: that we were perfect for each other. They’d pass us with perfect scores and flying colors. They would throw confetti and cheer.
This is your first and last pre-marital class, Amy and Jordan!
You’re 100% compatible!
You will have the best marriage in the history of marriages!
In fact, here’s the microphone! Why don’t YOU teach US!
We wish we could say that’s how it happened. We wish we could say that nothing happened, actually, that we just passed the test like everyone else and walked out of the class.
But we didn’t pass.
Otters sleep are the only animals who sleep holding hands to avoid drifting apart. Seriously. Google it. We did.
We found out that not only are otters nature’s only animals who hold hands while they sleep, they do it while they eat, too. In fact, otters are so serious about staying together that they are actually known to wrap sea plants around themselves just to secure the bond.
Take that, personality test!
From that point on, we decided that as long as we acted like real otters, we’d be just fine…
Want to catch up on The Pink Slip Files? You can read them all right here:
Intro: What Are the Pink Slip Files?
No. 1: Failing Pre-Marital Class & Otter DNA
No. 2: Sink or Swim
No. 3: Turning Off the Lights
No. 4: Leave a Message at the Tone
No. 5: Chocolates, Mystery Shows & Honeymooning
No. 6: Cutting Coupons & Wal-Mart Jeans
No. 7: Paper Chains of Memories
No. 8: Dancing on Bar Tops
No. 9: Man’s Best (Feline) Friend
No. 10: Confessions of a Waffle Fry
No. 11: What’s So Important About Shoelaces?
No. 12: Breaking Records… Like It’s 1924
No. 13: Why We’re Not as Classy as We Thought
No. 14: A Letter to My Only Starbucks Lover
No. 15: The Night We Killed Someone (Kind Of)
No. 16: Lord, It’s a Fire!